AwkwardRules

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to be chosen to speak at IgniteBoulder 3. It was my first time at an Ignite event (it’s a worldwide phenomenon), and it was awesome! There were 13 other speakers and they all did an amazing job.

Here’s a tip for dealing with the awkward situation of public speaking - talk about awkward situations so if you end up being awkward on stage you’re just doing your job. Here’s my presentation (thanks to Jeff Powers and Paul Berberian for great suggestions on the presentation, and thanks to Craig Kendall for creating the video!):

Here are some reviews/links to the other presentations:

My favorite presentation was Tim Poindexter’s “History of the Mustache”. Tim took us through the evolution of the ’stache throughout history, starting with the original mustache on a Scythian horseman, all the way through its recent resurgence. Best lines:

• “‘Staches fall into two categories, ironic and serious. You’re either a pretentious bastard, or you’re from West Virginia.”
• “Crustache and the Molestache. What’s the difference? Anyone know? Anyone? …… Age.”

Next up was Ace Harmon’s “How To Properly Prepare for THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!”. This is an extremely serious topic, not one to be joked about at all. For my mathematical modeling class at the University of Michigan, our team chose to work on Zombie Warfare, so this is a topic I know quite well. Best line:

• “If you are prepared [for the zombie apocalypse], it can be just like meeting your in-laws - painful, but survivable.”

Then Brandon White took us back to 1909, with “10 design predictions for 1909 … or so I reckon”. Best line:

• “In the field of health and beauty however, it turns out that women are still only washing their hair once a month with egg yolks and borax - which makes me really think, did we really need a cure for syphilis in the first place?”

When you’re in a dangerous situation, we tend to go with one of two options, fight or flight. Well, there’s a third option, you can Sing Your Way Out of Danger, and Eff Rodriguez showed us how. This presentation came close to being my favorite. It’s hard to describe Eff’s awesomeness without listening to him, so click on the link! Best line:

• “songs are the pepperoni on the pizza of life”

If you haven’t seen the news in the last few months, times are tough. Luckily, while times are tough, Ingrid Alongi showed us that so are we. Best line:

• “you guys always ask me, what does Jeremy do? Well if you were a woman, you would know!”

Next, Jeremy Tanner showed us “What Business Development Can Learn From the Seduction Community.” Best line:

• “Science Break! Cross your arms across your chest. How many people went left over right? Almost all of you. If you try to do it the other way, it feels awkward.” Strange but true!

Why in a culture that promotes the use of breasts to sell everything form cigarettes to cars are we so offended by women breastfeeding? Jo White tackled this issue in “Breasts and Media’s Obsession With Them.” Best line:

• “But moving on into the 21st century, we have boobs promoting a ferry ride between Sicily and Naples! We also have boobs promoting an airline in Britain that’ll take you to a place where you can see more boobs!”

Jen Mayer then told us that “The World Is Burning, But I Still Have My Yogurt“. We’re really disconnected from the food we eat, and Jen shows us some ways to reconnect including making homemade yogurt. Best line:

• “And if you do it right, you don’t even have to worry about Botulism.” The funniest line in all of Ignite Boulder =).

The music industry sucks right now, and it needs a new business model. Why not take lessons from one of the most successful business models out there? Grant Blakeman and Reid shared some “Lessons from a crack dealer for the New Music Industry” Best line:

• “Be willing to share the things you’ve made, and be willing to share the things you love”. Great advice!

Next up was “How to use Twitter for Marketing and PR” by Brian Shaler. Ok, here’s the actual link =). Best lines:

• “Don’t.”
• “The companies that successfully using Twitter for marketing and PR? They’re not using Twitter FOR marketing and PR.”

Then Brandon Whalen demonstrated sick flow by performing his song “Colorado Fire” while showing us “How to make a rap song“. Hard to describe in words, you can download his song here. Best line:

• “Don’t believe everything you hear about white people. You have great rhythm.”

People in Boulder are really nice, and therefore pretty hard to piss off, but Tara showed us how in “How to piss of people and lose friends in Boulder“. There was a classic “too soon” moment when Tara talked about the Jon Bennet Ramsey murder, which I never knew occurred in Boulder! It was also filled with hilarious Boulder Tech scene inside jokes, so you might not get some of the stuff if you’re not living here. Best line:

• “It’s better to be pissed off than pissed on.”

Finally, Matt Galligan got everyone’s attention in “Getting People to Notice You“. A great tongue-in-cheek presentation on how NOT to get people to notice you. Best line:

• “To get people to notice you, you already have to be awesome, and probably the majority of you aren’t, so any knowledge I’m about to impart is probably not going to be useful.”

I’m already looking forward to the next Ignite Boulder!