AwkwardRules

The situation:

You’re meeting a close friend of the opposite sex* at a bar, and when you get there you see that they’ve brought their friend (also of the opposite sex) that you’ve met once or twice. You give your close friend a hug, but then what about the other person? Do they feel left out if you don’t give them a hug? You can’t really go with a handshake because you’ve met them already, but you don’t know them that well so does it really make sense to hug them?

I propose Awkward Rule #2 to prevent this dilemma:

When greeting or saying goodbye to a person of the opposite sex* who is not a close friend, it is required to give them a hug if you have no animosity toward them and:

1. You have met them at least 3 times.
2. You have spent more that 3 total hours in their presence. Being at the same event does not count, you must have been within conversation range for 3 hours.

If the person is not huggable under this rule, simply give them a small “hey” wave. See figure 2 below for further explanation.

Figure 2a.

Here’s a simple phrase to help you remember this rule: Less than 3, let them be. 3 or more, hug their core.

Rule #2 only applies in the USA and to acquaintances/friends of the opposite sex. It does not apply to cases like first dates or intra-girl hugging because the extensive research required to write a rule for these situations hasn’t been completed yet.

For a discussion of actual hug mechanics go here: http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/73/

* for the purposes of this rule, opposite sex is defined as the gender you like to have sex with, be it male, female, both, or miscellaneous