AwkwardRule #8: Breaking into a Social Circle

February 26th, 2009

The situation You get to a party or other gathering a bit late. As you survey the scene looking for friends or just people you know, you come to the grim realization that the “social circling” has already happened.

social circling

Figure 8.1 shows a gathering where the "social circling" has occurred

Across the room, people have formed tight, seemingly impenetrable conversation circles. In the space between the circles lies no man’s land, where you’re vulnerable to party undesirables such as

  • Really drunk person that’s past the “happy drunk” phase and now wants to wax poetic about their life’s regrets.
  • Random creeper who has strange zombie-like glint in their eyes, possibly from drugs, or because they are literally a zombie. May or may not have a molestache.

You need to join a circle quickly. However, breaking into a circle is difficult. By their very design, social circles catalyse conversation and so there is rarely a pause where you can make an entrance. In the worst possible situation, it’s a gathering where nobody really knows each other yet, like a conference, so there’s nobody in particular to say hi to.  So what can you do?

AwkwardRule #8: Breaking into a Social Circle 

For the purposes of this rule, “social circle” shall mean:

  1. a group of 3 or more people
  2. engaged in conversation
  3. arranged in the form of a circle

The following strategies will help you to break into the circle:

  1. A friendly face -  If you know somebody within a circle fairly well, first tap them on the back. When they turn around, engage them in conversation, and then slide into the gap they’ve created. See Figure 8.2 for a diagram of this maneuver. 

    Figure 8.2 The engage and slide maneuver

    Figure 8.2 The engage and slide maneuver

  2. The bar is your friend - If there is a bar at this gathering, it is your friend. Get a drink at the bar, and then when somebody from a circle come up to the bar, engage them in conversation. The key is to talk to them long enough to find out their name and something interesting about them. Do this a few times to “seed” the room. Now walk up to a circle that one of your “seeds” is part of, tap them on the back, and say “hey, I forgot to ask you about X” where X is related to something interesting about them. Then follow the maneuver in #1.
  3. Go big or go home - Walk up to a circle, put your hand on a person’s shoulder and pull back slightly, and then say “hey, you guys look like you’re talking about something interesting, mind if I join?” or “hey, do any of you know about X?” where X is something that people won’t have a yes or no answer for. The first phrase has not been tested thoroughly, but the latter has a 100% success rate.
  4. Create your own - It’s best if you do this after “seeding” the room as described in Strategy 2. First, engage one person that’s temporarily away from a circle in conversation. Now, when one of your other “seeds” or somebody else you know walks by, say, “hey have you met X?” Now you’ve got a circle going. If you can add one more, then the circle will sustain itself if you go to the bathroom / get a drink.

Any other strategies for breaking into a circle or suggestions for amendments to the rule?

Author: vikas Categories: awkwardrule Tags: , , , , , , ,

AwkwardRule #7: Watching graphic sex scenes with your parents

January 22nd, 2009

The situation: You’re at home for Thanksgiving, and one night you are watching a movie with your parents. They’ve rented “A History of Violence”. You think to yourself, “oh good, a history of violence, there’s probably no long sex scene in this movie”. WRONG.

All of a sudden there’s a really intense sex scene happening, with loud noises to accompany it. This goes on for several minutes. After it’s over, you think you’re in the clear, and then BAMN, another sex scene. Figure 7.1b illustrates this:

Figure 7.1b You and your parents watching the guy who plays Aragorn in Lord of the Rings get it on in a History of Violence.

Thankfully there are ways to avoid or at least lessen the awkwardness of this situation, which are outlined in ->

AwkwardRule #7: Watching graphic sex scenes with your parents

When watching a movie with your parents, adhere to the following guidelines:

 

  1. Research - As always at AwkwardRules, we believe strongly in prevention. By doing a quick IMDB or Wikipedia check, you can identify problematic scenes ahead of time and make sure you are conveniently over in the kitchen or going to the bathroom when they happen.
  2. Avoid foreign films - If you’re from the United States, be wary of foreign directors who enjoy exploring complex themes of eroticism. Some people claim the title of the movie “Y tu mamá también” means “And your mother, too”, but it really means, “movie that you couldn’t pay me enough to watch with my mother”.
  3. Fake a phone call / needing to go to the bathroom - Assuming you’re already in the midst of a wild sex scene, pretend you’ve just gotten a call or you have to go to the bathroom. Don’t worry, your parents most likely won’t pause the movie to wait for you - it’s awkward for them too.
  4. Look straight ahead - If you want to actually watch the scene because you don’t like missing parts of the movie, then maintain a steady gaze toward the screen. Do not under any circumstances turn your head toward your parents and make eye contact.

Any suggestions for amendments? What’s the most awkward movie you’ve ever seen with your parents?

Author: vikas Categories: awkwardrule Tags: , , , , , ,