AwkwardRules

This rule was inspired by an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, written by and starring the brilliant Larry David. The stop and chat situation happened all the time to me in NYC and now happens even more frequently in Boulder, and I felt I needed precise rules for the situation.

The situation: You’re walking down the street when you see someone you know fairly well up ahead about a hundred feet. As you get closer, you start to wonder whether this chance meeting warrants a stop and chat. You decide not to stop, and you say “hey!” and keep walking, but see that they’ve stopped to chat. Now you are a few feet beyond them and have to either stop and walk back or commit to the pass and keep going. The reverse situation can also occur where you stop and the other person keeps going.

Figure 1. A poorly executed Stop and Chat situation.

However, if both parties use the following guidelines, this awkwardness can be dealt with.

AwkwardRule #12 Stop and Chats

A Stop and Chat (S&C) shall be defined as a chance social encounter where two people who meet the requirements of Section A below, exchange a small amount of conversation. The following Sections describe both eligibility and protocol for Stop and Chats. Note that there is never a requirement for either person to Stop and Chat.

Section A. Conditions for Eligibility of S&Cs

1. The two people must have met at least twice, or have exchanged information in a previous conversation beyond just names, occupations, and discussions about the weather. Alternatively, one person could attempt to upgrade a long standing nod-hi relationship between both people even if they have never talked.
2. The result of the following S&C eligibility score formula must be greater than 0.25:

   S&C Eligibility Score = (1 - probability that the two people run into each other randomly during their daily activities (from 0 to 1.0)) * (how well the two people know each other (from 0 to 1.0))

   For example, let’s say I have a friend X who I know well enough to be a 0.3. In a city like New York, my odds of running into them randomly is very low, maybe 0.05. So the S&C Eligibility Score between us is 0.3*(1-0.05) = 0.285 and we are eligible for a Stop and Chat. Now suppose my friend and I are in a city like Boulder, where my odds of running into them randomly is 0.3. Applying that same formula, we get 0.3*(1 - 0.3)  = 0.21, meaning we are not eligible to Stop and Chat.

Section B. Protocol

1. Avoid acknowledgment of the other person until you are in the proper zone (from AwkwardRule #4: Nod/Hi Relationships).
2. As you approach the other party, if you desire a S&C, slow down by 25%. If both parties do this and eligibility has been met, then a S&C must occur. Either party can refuse a S&C without stigma by simply maintaining their original speed.

Figure 2. A properly executed Stop and Chat situation.

Any suggestions for amendments? Comment below!